vomit #126

Been feeling very depressed tonight, I started off the day feeling pretty good, wanting to draw and get on with things but.. Im just so bored and unable to concentrate on anything, nothing is fulfilling. I don’t know what I want or need, I keep almost crying but never fully breaking, I’m not sure if

Vomit #97

Knowing that I am autistic has helped me understand my actions and behaviours for the first time, clearly Being undiagnosed (still) and struggling massively with both mental and physical health growing up and still now I’ve done/said alot of things that… Aren’t me Or don’t feel like who I thought I knew myself as I’ve

Vomit #93

So I rang my dad the other day. It’s been almost a year since we last talked. My brother isn’t living with him anymore and I felt anxious for his mental state. These times are tough for him, the holidays and his birthday soon. I was worried he’d started drinking again, he had been an

A tale of two parents

My folks had a relationship like a bar of soap The more you use it the thinner it gets. After they broke up they both leaned on me the middle child, their “daughter”. I knew my mum would need me Over the years I understood our relationship. She needed me, the girl, to confide in.

vomit #28

(saved in my drafts from 2016) when i think of what they did, it takes me a minute to quite believe it. then i feel sick and….confused Angry so fucking angry i cant think of anything else and everything i do its just a fucking waste of time cuz why even bother if shit like

vomit #69

nobody loves me. nobody knows me. i have no one to hold, to love, to cry to, no one who cares, no one who will notice when I’m not okay. no one who will notice when I’m gone. i haven’t made that human connection and it makes me wanna fucking rip my soul out the